♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah ♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh
♪ Look out down below ♪ Here he comes
♪ Banana slamma
♪ Donkey Kong
♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong
♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh
♪ Look out down below ♪ Here he comes
♪ Banana slamma ♪ Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪
♪ Hey-oh ♪ Donkey Kong, let"s go ♪
♪ Let"s go ♪
♪ Here he comes ♪ Banana slamma
Yes, siree, little buddy.
The sun is shining, the fish are biting.
You got to admit, it"s a wonderful... Ohh!
Life.
Hey, Funky, what"s up?
I"ve lost it, dudes.
My surfing stance.
It"s lost in the cosmos.
Watch.
Oof!
See?
Without my world-famous funky
stance, my surfing is suffering.
Relax, Funky.
I can show you how to get your
surf style back.
Oops.
My board!
Instant karma is going to get
you, Donkey Dude.
CRANKY: Donkey Kong!
Uh, love to stay and chat,
Funky, but, uh, got to run.
You bellowed, Cranky?
For starters, you can explain this!
Ah, that.
That"s my new invention: the
Crystal Coconut total security system.
When I"m off doing something
vital as future ruler...
Like going fishing?
Exactly.
Well, anyway, now when I"m gone,
nobody can get at the Coconut.
Including me, you
knuckle-dragging knucklehead!
You mean it really worked?
Wow.
I"m impressed.
Looks like I"m pretty valuable
to have around, huh, Cranky?
You"ll be valuable for
donating your body to science if
you don"t get those locks off.
No problemo, Cranky-o.
I"ll have them off in a ji...
Um, you wouldn"t happen to have
the combinations, would you?
Me?
They"re your locks, Donkey Kong.
Don"t worry, Cranky.
There"s more than one way to open a lock.
Argh!
Well, you learn something new every day.
I guess there isn"t more than
one way to open a lock.
Out of my way!
[Grunting]
There you go.
One Crystal Coconut, just like you ordered.
No need to thank me, Cranky.
Thank you?
You want me to thank you?
I can see you"re busy; I'll
see my own way out.
CANDY: Oh, Bluster, I get
goose bumps just hearing you say
those words.
What words?
BLUSTER: Oh, Candy, you know
I need you now more than ever.
Hey!
All right, Bluster, you know
Candy is my girl.
Whoa!
[Screaming]
Donkey Kong, what are you doing?
You two were getting cozy
behind my back.
You were getting goose bumps?
Oh, Donkey Kong, I was
getting goose bumps because
Bluster was finally giving me a raise.
Uh, and what about you, Bluster?
I heard you say you needed Candy
more than ever.
To fill my biggest order
ever, which you just knocked
over and ruined, which means
Candy, no raise.
Great work, DK.
Your butting in has just cost me my raise.
BLUSTER: And let"s don't
forget about my barrel order.
Uh, well... Say, why don"t I come back
later?
DK: Hey, Diddy, toss it over here.
No way, DK.
This is my lucky ball.
Just one throw?
I"ll throw it right back.
Cross my eyes and hope to skate.
Okay, if you promise to throw
it right back.
This is my favourite ball in the
whole wide world.
Promise.
Now, let "er rip.
Okay, DK, that was great.
Now, can you just toss my ball back?
Gently?
Here it comes, little buddy,
right down the pike.
Whoa!
Oop.
You just lost my lucky ball!
Sorry, little buddy.
"Sorry" isn"t good enough, Donkey Kong.
Why couldn"t you have
disappeared forever instead of my ball?
K. ROOL: Aw, poor Donkey Kong.
Tough day at the office, bad
biorhythms, or just plain loser?
[Cackling]
Looks like the poor citizens of
Kongo Bongo are just finding out
what I have known for years:
that they"d all be better off
without that lamentable
lunk-head as their future ruler.
[Cackling]
[Vacuum whirring]
Oof.
Boy, oh, boy.
It"s hard to believe anybody
this cute could have everybody
so mad at him.
Well, I"ve never known any
problem that couldn"t be solved
with a little nap.
[Clanging]
DK, what are you doing here?
Uh, nothing, honest.
I was just, uh... Hey, wait a minute.
I live here!
I"m allowed to goof off in my own house.
Aren"t I?
Tonight is only the annual
Future Ruler of Kongo Bongo
Barbecue Banana Dinner, at which
you were supposed to be the
guest of honour.
Oh, I completely forgot.
Diddy, can you tell everybody I
was busy fighting evil or
something like that?
Tell them yourself, DK.
Thanks for ruining our evening, DK.
You really made monkeys out
of all of us, Donkey Kong.
I"m sending you the bill for
my tuxedo rental, Donkey Kong.
Bummer, dude.
But... >> Save it, Donkey Kong.
We"ll just carry on as if you
were never here.
Yeah, and we probably won"t
even notice the difference.
[Sighing]
♪
♪ Why does it seem
everyone is so unhappy with me ♪
♪ When I try to do my best
they treat me like a pest ♪
♪ Well maybe they"d be
better off if I wasn"t around ♪
♪ No no no I wasn"t around ♪
♪ Why should I stay when all I do is
get in the way ♪
♪ They think I"m a clown
they push me around ♪
♪ Well maybe they"d be
better off if I wasn"t around ♪
♪ Why should I stay when they treat me
they treat me that way ♪
♪ If I if I if I if I
wasn"t around yeah-yeah ♪
[Groaning]
[Thudding]
Ugh.
Feels like I got the stuffing
knocked out of me.
Oh, no!
I did get the stuffing knocked out of me.
Where"s my stuffing?
[Panting]
Uh-oh, King K. Rool.
That"s enough of that, K. Rool.
The croc stops here.
Hmm, that can"t be good.
DIDDY: Jumping jungleberries!
I know that gabby gecko came this way.
He sure did, little buddy.
But don"t worry, we'll get him.
We"re in this together, through
thick and thin.
Thinner than I thought, apparently.
Don"t worry, Diddy.
I"m right behind you.
What the... >> Not so fast, monkey.
Eddie the Mean Old Yeti?
Eddie the Guardian Angel Yeti.
Well, congratulations.
It"s a much better name.
Way friendlier, but I got to go
help my little buddy.
No can"t do.
You not here.
Of course I"m here.
You say Kongo Bongo better
off with no you.
Here is Kongo Bongo with no you.
You not exist.
I think you"ve taken a few too
many snowballs to the head.
Things different now.
Whoa!
I got to admit, I couldn"t do this before.
[Panting]
He"s up to no good, that K.
Rool.
Let me at him!
No.
You watch.
I got to hide.
I can"t let him find me.
DIDDY: I believe you have
something that is rightfully mine.
Don"t worry, Diddy.
Banana slamma!
Do your worst to me, you evil chimp.
The papier-mâché lily pad shall
never fall into your evil hands.
The papier-mâché what into
whose evil hands?
You make it sound like
running an evil empire is a bad thing.
Now, just give me the lily pad
so I can consolidate my reign of
terror over Kongo Bongo.
Which, by the way, I"m renaming
Diddyland when I capture the lily pad.
Diddyland?
What a dopey name.
Shhh.
What"s that up there?
Hey, hey, hey, over here!
There"s nothing there.
Why do you... Hey!
I, I... I know where you live.
See?
This what Kongo Bongo like with
no Donkey Kong.
This is nuts.
I got to speak to Cranky about this.
Still more to show you.
This looks the same as
always, except for me floating way up here.
Why?
Whoa!
I"m never working in this
factory again.
See?
CANDY: Now that I"m Mrs.
Bluster.
I love you, Candy.
[Giggling]
Hey, Candy, it"s me, Donkey Kong!
You can"t marry him.
You"re supposed to love me.
I do love you.
See?
Bluster.
[Smooching]
DK: Stop it!
How can you just kiss him like
that in front of me?
Oh, why can"t they see me?
Why?
You not exist.
Come.
More to see.
Finally, Cranky"s place.
He"ll know what's going on.
CRANKY: A lame-brained,
goofus doofus of an ignoramus of an ape.
See, he"s calling me.
I can take it from here.
A lazy, old useless flea motel.
That"s what I am, Your Short and
Sweetness.
Huh?
I accept your apology, you old... Old...
Odiferous orang-utan?
That"ll work.
You odiferous orang-utan!
Next time you fail to bring me
the papier-mâché lily pad, you
can bring me your head on a
platter instead!
Yes, King Diddy.
DIDDY: I"ve come up with the
most fiendishly clever plan to
steal the lily pad and destroy
the crocodiles.
[Cackling]
And once I have the lily pad in
its place of honour...
What"s this junky piece of junk
doing on my pedestal?
DK: The Crystal Coconut!
I got it, I got it.
I don"t got it.
[Rattling]
Did you put that there?
I thought it looked pretty.
We"re nefarious bad guys bent
on stealing the lily pad and
turning this island into our evil empire!
We don"t have time for pretty!
BOTH: Sorry, boss.
I can"t take this anymore.
I need some air.
DIDDY: Have I told you guys
about Diddyland yet?
Eddie, what"s going on here?
Without Donkey Kong, Kongo
Bongo not same place.
DIDDY: All right, men.
In one hour, we launch our final
all-out, take-no-prisoners
attack on the papier-mâché lily pad.
Once and for all, I shall be the
Supreme Ruler of the island
formerly known as Kongo Bongo.
FUNKY: Yo, Your Diddly Squatness.
What are we going to do?
Go for snow cone?
♪ No I can"t believe what I see ♪
♪ Everything"s upside down
and it makes no sense to me ♪
♪ In my current state
I can"t change their fate ♪
♪ If you send me back I swear
I"ll set things straight ♪
♪ You got to send me back No can do.
♪ I"ve been dissed ♪
You not exist.
[Exhaling]
♪ Eddie let me go back in my home ♪
♪ Without me everything"s all wrong ♪
♪ Eddie let me go back in my home ♪
♪ Let me put things back
where they belong ♪
♪ Eddie let me go back in my home ♪
♪ Without me everything"s all wrong ♪
♪ Eddie let me go back in my home ♪
♪ Please I"m down on my knees ♪
♪ There"s a world that needs saving ♪
♪ Baby Bobby Eddie Yeti just let me be ♪
♪ Oh man won"t you hear my plea ♪
♪ Come on come on Eddie
you got to help me ♪
♪ You got to send me back Me not sure.
♪ Just one day No way, José.
♪ Eddie let me go back in my home ♪
♪ Without me everything"s all wrong ♪
♪ Eddie let me go back in my home ♪
♪ Let me put things back
where they belong ♪
♪ Eddie let me go back in my home ♪
♪ Without me everything"s all wrong ♪
♪ Eddie let me go back in my home ♪
You exist.
[DK screaming]
[Thudding]
Oof!
Thanks, Eddie.
You"re in luck, Kongo Bongo.
I"m back!
Whoa!
Oof.
Lucky Kongo Bongo.
[Chuckling]
Candy will help me turn things around.
She used to be my girlfriend.
Oh, Bluster!
Oh, Candy!
DK: Oh, please!
BOTH: Who are you?
Come on, Candy, how can you
forget the guy who gave you your
first kiss?
What?
Candy, how could you?
I have no idea who this big
hairy ape is.
Honestly, Bluster, you know I
only love you.
You used to say those very
words to me every time you baked
me a banana cream pie.
[Gasping]
You never baked me a pie.
Wait!
I swear I don"t know this monkey.
Mumsy was right about you all along.
We"re finished, Candy!
[Helicopter blades whirring]
CANDY: Look what you"ve done.
You"ve driven away the only ape
I ever loved.
Are you happy now?
Pretty happy, yeah.
Well, you won"t be for long, buddy!
DIDDY: Hey, Candy, where"s Bluster?
And more importantly, where"s
his helicopter?
Ask this big ape.
He got Bluster so mad at me that
he took off in his helicopter.
Jeepin" jungleberries!
How can I be an evil ruler if I
can"t attack the enemy in a helicopter?
Oh, that"s so unfair.
I hate that, and I hate you!
Not as much as I do.
I"m telling you, Candy, I
hate him more.
I got to get out of here.
You couldn"t possibly.
Funky, you have to help me.
Do I know you, dude?
Uh, we were friends in another life?
Finally, somebody who speaks
my language.
Welcome, bro.
What"s shakin'?
Things aren"t what they seem
around here, and I need a friend.
The Funkman is your karma companion.
You"re never going to believe
this, but first I was me, good
old Donkey Kong, and then
suddenly I was, like, this
floating invisible thing.
I"ve been there, dude.
I could... Well, I could put my fist
through things, like this.
Whoa-ho-ho!
My plane!
Sorry.
I forgot I"m not invisible anymore.
But you"re sure going to wish
you were, Destructo Dude.
Dumb old Bluster takes his
dumb old helicopter, leaving me
standing here with nothing to
use to attack those worthless
lizards so I can achieve world domination!
Oof!
Ohh.
Hey, little buddy.
Are you okay?
Little buddy?
Littlebuddy?
Do I look little to you?
Sorry.
Uh, nothing personal.
It"s just that I used to call
you that when we were friends.
We were friends?
See this?
That"s my ball.
You can"t take my ball!
Give me my ball.
Sure thing.
It"s just that we used to play
catch with this.
Come on.
One more time for old times"
sake.
We don"t have any old times,
and I"m not that thrilled with
the new times.
Now, give me my ball.
Sorry about that.
[Screaming]
You lost my ball!
[Crying]
When I finally capture the
papier-mâché lily pad and rule
the world, I"ll get you for this!
[Panting]
Monkey intruders!
Protect the papier-mâché lily
pad at all costs!
Hey, relax.
I"m not here to steal your lily pad.
You"re one of them.
No, I"m not.
I"m me, Donkey Kong.
Name ring a bell?
You"ll never get the lily pad from us.
We"ll protect it with every
scale on our bodies.
Get used to going around
naked, guys, because Diddy is
out to steal this thing once and for all.
You"re here to trick us, aren"t you?
I trust this ape.
There"s something about him that
seems sincere.
Besides, I don"t think he's
smart enough to trick us.
Thanks, I think.
Hey, can I see this for a sec?
Aw, come on.
Is this the face of a lily-pad thief?
Just be careful.
[Gasping]
[Sighing]
Phew.
Oops.
You broke our lily pad!
After him!
There"s the dude.
♪
For someone who doesn"t even
exist, I sure am popular.
Banana slamma!
What an odd thing to say when
somebody is chasing you.
Whoa!
[Brakes squealing, crashing]
Get him!
Uh, Eddie?
Yoo-hoo, pal.
We"ve got you now, stranger,
and I get first crack at you.
Hey, I want a piece of him, too.
We can all take turns.
Yeah.
Before you tear me limb from
limb, can I just mention that
you"re all working together for once?
You know, he"s right.
It"s true, and not at all unpleasant.
But you broke the papier-mâché lily pad.
We have to tear you apart for that.
At the very least.
Yeah, for sure.
Well, uh, I see your point, but...
Wait a sec.
Stay right there.
What about this?
Why can"t this be your symbol of
knowledge and power?
You know, maybe it"s not so bad.
Check it out.
Nice weight, looks good.
It"s shiny, and maybe it'll work
just fine.
There, you see?
And might I add you"re all now
talking to each other and
working together as friends?
He"s right, you know.
We are.
Maybe some good has come of
having this strange fellow around.
Maybe we should thank him.
Nah, let"s get him.
Yeah!
DIDDY: Hey!
Oof.
Yow!
Ooh!
I"m out of here.
Banana slamma!
What doesthat mean?
I don"t know, but it's kind of catchy.
Oof!
Ugh.
CANDY: DK?
Where are you?
Do you really think he ran away?
Well, we did make him feel
pretty unwanted around here.
Ah, baloney.
If I know Donkey Kong, he"s
probably lying under some... Oof!
Do I know Donkey Kong or do I
know Donkey Kong?
CANDY: DK, are you all right?
We were worried sick about you.
No, leave me alone.
I"m sorry I broke the
papier-mâché lily pad.
Lily pad?
What lily pad?
You, the evil Diddy!
And Candy, you"re in love with
Bluster, and... >> Ooh, boy.
That must have been some dream you had.
It"s not a dream.
I ran away and... >> Now, you"re back.
That"s the important thing.
We"re sorry we made you feel so bad.
[Smooching]
Hey!
[Giggling]
Just checking.
Banana slamma!
I"m back.
You"re the best friends an ape could have.
Watch it!
Whoa.
DK, you big lummox.
Ah, it"s good to be home.
♪ Hurrah
♪
♪ Hurrah